Camping and Living

We had a great time camping this weekend. It was an absolutely beautiful location. We went to sleep to the sounds of the waves and the wind and woke up to the sun rising over the ocean. We spent the day swimming, napping and eating. It was great to meet new peole and feel welcome.

On Sunday we had one of our many "how long do we stay" discussions. It's a funny thing we've done. We moved here because I wanted to. We did it incredibly successfully and did it together. Somewhere in the last nine months things really settled down. We're here. We're living. And that's not enough...

We're both very driven. We want a lot out of life and strive to make that so. So now that we're here we spend our time figuring out when we want to leave. We're crazy. It's frequent discussion that involves planning our imaginary calendar for the next year or so and discussing where we'll go next. Suddenly I realized that by doing that we're not really living here. So I've resolved to try to live a bit more here.

Next step in living more here is camping trip #2. Next weekend! Camping two weekends in a row! Soon we won't need to pay rent. We'll just live in our tent.

Getting Our Camp On

Hooray! This weekend we're going camping! With lots of people we don't really know!

I've talked about camping here before. When we bought our Wal-Mart tent and saw a shark? Good times. Out comes the tent again. Big question this time is whether the inflatable queen size mattress will fit in the tent which is pretty teeny-tiny. I suggested it would just pull up the edges and be sort of like a wobble tent. Bryan doesn't think it will fit at all and even suggested this morning that we put the mattress UNDER the tent. Uhh, what? He was serious.

Here's our tent in all its glory... with bikini drying on it. If you're going to go tacky, take it all the way!

Your Name Is Your Job

Oh, fun! And way too appropriate. I've been grumpy about my job lately. Today my co-worker sent me a silly little tool where you plug in your name and it tells you your job.

Mine was Monkey Impressionist. So right on. So completely what I do around here.

Bryan's is Office Numpty. I haven't told him yet...

Send me your name, I'll tell you yours!

As Long As...

... a presidential term
... high school
...

Eh, I can't think of any more.

Official today, Bryan and I have been dating for four years. We both agree that when we put into terms of "as long as high school" it suddenly feels like a LONG time.

Friends and Jack

No, not that Jack!

This weekend was such a wonderful treat of time spent with friends. You guys have no idea how far removed I feel from friendships. I never would have guessed it would be so tough to feel comfortably friendly with people. Take it from me, those friends you have in your life are absolutely irreplaceable!

Anyhow, for the first time in a long time I felt in the friend zone. I went out with folks after work on Friday and chatted about everything from weight gain to apartment shopping. On Sunday we met our SF friends Maryetta and Davey for a late lunch and drinks while we caught up on all the haps back home. Then we headed over to the Jack Johnson concert (that Jack!) to meet up with more friends and have a wonderful afternoon.

That's Jack (in the black shirt) with a very talented local girl who can rock the Ukulele and has a stunning voice.

Jack is from Hawaii so hosts the Kokua Festival every year. It's some benefit concert to help kids and the earth - I think. It's at the Waikiki Shell which is a beautiful outdoor venue sort of like a mini Shoreline. We lounged in the grass, did lots of people watching and spotted friends left and right. My paddling buddies and work friend ended up joining us for a very fun night.

Friend!

Paddling buddies!

My New Favorite Person

Ella Allyson Murdock entered the world a little over a week ago and I have absolutely decided she is my new favorite person. Step back everyone else, you have nothing on this tiny creature who came from two of my very good friends.

Straightening My Bow

So my coworker just sent me a message with a link saying "check this out, I think this is something you'd be in to." It's a site about shoelaces. Shoelaces. Why would he ever think I'm into shoelaces?

But I read the site.

And I learned I tie a Granny Bow. For my entire life, I have been tying granny bows instead of proper bows. That's why my gift wrapping is never as nice as it could be, why my shoes might come untied, why the perky ribbon I would never wear in my hair wouldn't sit straight anyway. A Granny Bow.

If you're worried about your bows or want to learn everything about shoelaces, this is the site for you.

Happy Update

I'm sure the handful of you that read this (my mom and a few friends) are on the edge of your seat just dying to know how everything turned out.

I am happy to report that I did get the shoes. I love them so much. I do a little happy dance whenever I look at them. Now my biggest worry is that I'm going to wear them out. I want to save them for special days but also don't want to deny my feet of true bliss.

Also, I finally rode in the car today after the incident of Monday morning. No sign of a roach. They may be hiding but as long as I don't see them, I don't have to cry. All the thanks goes to Bryan who got the car vacuumed and put more sticky traps in it.

Whew, life is looking so much better now!

Thankful for Good Things

I'm thankful that the toughest thing in my life is bugs in my car.

My heart goes out to everyone affected by the tragedy at Virginia Tech. Let's all appreciate the good we have.

This Will Be My Undoing

I had a major breakdown one night last week. I ended up in raging tears after I discovered another roach in the car. I had been at paddling practice, it was dark outside and I couldn't squish the roach. I had to drive to the grocery store and then home all the while convinced it was crawling up my leg or had landed on my toe. I was completely on edge and blinked back tears as I shopped for vegetables and cereal. I raced home, threw the groceries on the floor and told Bryan to put them away. Then I took a long shower, cried hysterically and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning and thought a lot about my breakdown. I looked at it from every angle and concluded that the roaches were just a symbol of all the things that have been frustrating me lately. Of all the ways that life isn't perfect. It's poetic right? To think of my wonderful life in Hawaii with wonderful Bryan but know it's not perfect. Nothing is perfect. Everyone gets roaches. So okay, I pull myself together. Bryan sprays the car again. And I move on with my life.

But let me tell you. The roaches aren't just a symbol. They are the worst mental challenge I have faced in a long time. I know you'll laugh now and you'll giggle that these small bugs cause me to over-react so dramatically. But it's NOT FUNNY. And you'll think "Jenni, you knew there were roaches in Hawaii. You chose to move there." True, maybe. But I did not know they would torment me this much. They are breaking me down day by day.

This weekend we got the sticky traps that my aunt and co-worker suggested. We assembled them and placed them in the car and around the house. I felt empowered and looked forward to the day of no roaches.

This morning we got in the car only to discover two live ones flying about! I lost it. I flew out of the car, started shrieking and thought I might throw up and cry. Then I left Bryan alone with them and the car and I walked to the bus stop. I blinked back tears as I planned to buy a new car.

Here's the thing. I am a very rational person. Sure, I get upset about things and don't like creatures in my space. But I have NEVER had a reaction like this. This is irrational behavior and I can't control it. These nasty little bugs are breaking me down. I can't walk into the bathroom without looking in every corner. I watch TV from the couch with my eye on the floor in the kitchen. I have nightmares about roaches crawling out of my shorts and laying eggs in my sheets. I'm not kidding guys. They are going to be my complete undoing.

SPF: Stuff That's Jenni

Well, this week's SPF assignment is to share "stuff" that represents me. And I'd like to dedicate this one to Kim who misses the Jenni who liked sparkly things and fancy shoes. That Jenni has not gone very far, and has in no way been compromised by the swimming and paddling Jenni. So with all that in mind, I present to you my most recent object of desire.


These are Chinese Laundry shoes that are currently on sale at Macy's. I have a pair on hold and if they still have them tomorrow, they are ALL MINE. They are tacky, the complete opposite of practical, and make me ridiculously happy. If you can't tell by the picture, they are a metallic sort of teal and gold snake skin print. Awwww yeah! And they have the most obnoxious plastic blue rhinestone on the front. Bryan thinks they are the most bizarre shoe in the world. But I mantain they will look stunning with jeans and summery skirts.

Shoes have been special to me since my early years. My mom can tell you stories about one of my first pair of shoes when I kept looking at my feet and saying "pretty" or how in kindergarten my class used to sing a song and skip around the room when anyone had new shoes. I promise you once my feet are at home in these bejeweled teal snakeskin delights, I will skip around and declare them pretty.

Molokai Adventure

Bryan and I have always wanted to go to Molokai. We had decided a long time ago that it would probably be our favorite island.

We finally went this past weekend.

This is a story about expectations. And how to work around them, not with them...


We arrived Friday morning and weren't set to check in until 3pm so we got our rental SUV (free upgrade) and began to orient ourselves with the island. We quickly found town (the only town) and selected the bakery for breakfast which was GOOD. We toured around a bit, bought a tourist map and decided to drive to the east side of the island to see the sights and do some snorkeling at mile marker 18 as the man on the plane had suggested. Molokai is beautiful. It truly is. It is so different from how you probably picture Hawaii but it is very dynamic. Red dirt, rolling hills and sharp mountain peaks, smooth beaches with no waves on the south side, to rough pounding surf on the west side.

We stopped just past mile marker 18 at a beautiful little beach to snorkel. Too bad the snorkeling was terrible. We enjoyed the view and then got back in the car to go all the way to the far side. Most definitely the most beautiful part of the island. But we were enjoying it too much to take pictures. Sorry!


I had made arrangements to stay at a place called the Tentalowes because someone once told me it was incredible. The Tentalowes are run by the Molokai Ranch which is a beautiful boutique hotel surrounded by a true working cattle ranch. It's sort of hokey and old school but very charming and authentic. I'd thought the Tentalowes were funky cabins with canvas walls - something I imagined they might have on upscale Safari trips. I thought it would be great. A wonderful unique relaxing experience.

The Tentalowes are not for us.

We hated the Tentalowes. Unfortunately for the Tentalowes I had a headache, Bryan was hungry and we were both tired. We were too grumpy to look past what were essentially permanent tents with bugs and spiders around. We didn't want a shower that opened up to the sky or a "room" without temperture controls. We were miserable.

We stayed the night but in the morning transfered up to the Lodge to a gorgeous room with soft sheets, a bathtub and AC. We were in heaven! And the story gets much better from here.


We spent the morning enjoying a good meal, playing a game of pool and checking out the gardems of the Ldge. Then we packed up and headed to the Kalapapa lookout. Molokai is know for its leper colony. I promise you. It's famous. Everyone knows you have to go down there and check it out. We were all set to do that until the family that runs the tour cancelled on us. And you can't go down without a permit - even though we were tempted. So instead we settled for visiting the lookout and I made Bryan promise we can go back to visit the lepers another day. Near the lookout is the Phallic Rock. Why this is a tourist destination I have no idea but of course we hiked to see it. And yes, it's phallic. The other tourists around told us to "touch it if you want babies." I'm not sure how powerful it is so we didn't touch it just to be safe.

Kalapapa, famous leper colony. Waaayyyyyy down there.....

Jenni and Bryan with Phallic Rock. Giggle all you want.

You weren't sure you believed me about it being phallic, right?

We spent the rest of the day getting fancy coffee drinks, reading, taking a nap and enjoying the sunset with a bottle of wine. It was true vacation! That night we went to dinner in town for pizza and then did the other activity that Molokai is famous for - Hot Bread. The tradition is to go down a dark alley at 10pm to knock on the back door of the bakery and ask for Hot Bread. We didn't really know what we were in for but we did it anyway. So fun! So funny! And the bread is not just a slice as I imagined - it's an entire loaf!

Dark alley of Molokai Hot Bread.

Hot Bread so good, so big.

The next day was out last day and we dealt with the sadness of leaving without doing everything we'd come to do. We headed out to the east side to explore the beaches and try to swim. We decided the beaches were too rough but we did sit and enjoy one the longest beach on the island. Then we went into town for lunch but found that EVERY place was closed for Easter. We ended up eating fried appetizers at the weird 70's style hotel. Finally we went for a swim back on the west side but this time at mile marker 20. Very nice! And again, no pictures.

Hotel, so pretty!

All in all, a bit of a weird weekend. It was a great getaway but instead of being full of fun, it left us both feeling a little lost. I think we'll be back again. Next time we'll make sure our mule ride to the lepers won't get cancelled, we'll hire someone with a boat to show us the highest seacliffs in the world that are on the north shore, and we'll take the once-a-month guided hike of the rainforest.

I am Jello-y

This morning I swam over a half mile in the ocean (it may be close to three-quarters of a mile but I don't want to get carried away in my guessing). It was tough. Very tough. At the end it took massive concentration to stand up straight. But I did it.

I went with five other girls. I was the last one in and they had to keep waiting for me to catch up. But of the five, three of them were college swimmers, three of them are some of the best women paddlers in Hawaii and are training to win the Molokai race, three of them are such hardcore athletes that they've torn some ligament in their shoulder, two of them are over six feet tall. I'm not exactly sure where that leaves me. I'm the absolute slowest of really strong swimmers? Or they were nice enough not to smoke me and leave me drowning in the ocean?

I can't decide if I should join them next time.

I'm absolute jello at work right now. My arms are heavy. My head is light. And I'm guzzling water. And freakishly, I'm considering doing yoga over lunch. I think it might loosen me up. Or kill me. Can't decide.

ps - I saw two turtles and hundreds of colorful fish this morning. Who else saw fishies before their morning coffee?

AFTERNOON UPDATE: I did not do yoga. Instead I hung around the office and talked smack with a co-worker. And my knees are killing me. I hurt my knees swimming. PATHETIC!

OMG, They're Everywhere!

Okay, this is too much. Yesterday I got in the car and saw a medium sized roach on the parking break handle! UGGGHHHH! Too gross! I completely freaked out. I tried to squish it but it got away and escaped to the innards of the car. It's still there! It's driving around with us! BLECH. I hate it!

I have surveyed my co-workers and they tell me that it's normal. That even the BMWs and Audis in Hawaii get roaches. That it doesn't mean I'm driving a pile of filth. But it still freaks me out. I made Bryan get bug spray and we will be de-roaching our car this weekend. And then I will have it cleaned so we don't find little dead guys belly up.

A Must-Watch

I still don't really know what to make of this. I found myself giggling at times but not because it's funny, more because it's grossly wrong.

I think it's important to be aware of what's out there in the world, and to appreciate our own freedoms, beliefs, and levels of compassion.

This makes me want to stand up and express my own beliefs a little louder. Here's to an open mind for everyone!

A Short Stop-Over

This weekend I had a wonderful treat. I got to spend two spontaneous hours with my very good friend Laura!

She was flying from Japan to San Francisco following a work trip in Japan. Her flight was cancelled and they re-routed her through Honolulu. I picked her up from the airport and we went to Waikiki for a Starbucks and a short sit and chat at the beach, then I took her back to the airport two hours later. It was way too short but infinitely special.

In the past few months I've had a few short visits from friends. In each case it has been so special! In my day-to-day Hawaii life I am consistenty making new and more friends and increasingly feeling confident that I will have great friendships here. It's these few short visits with old friends that remind me what I've been missing and inspire me to seek it out here.