A Week of Perspective

Last week I was in San Francisco for my first trip back ‘home.’ Bryan had intended to join me on Friday and we were going to spend the weekend catching up with friends. Bryan got very sad news early in the week that one of his childhood friends passed away. Bryan traveled straight to Spokane and I joined him on Saturday for the memorial service.

Clearly our vacation plans were adjusted. It’s hard to relaxed and have fun when you know people are in pain and mourning. But I think the change of plans really put a few things in perspective for me. I feel like I really learned a lot about who I am, what makes me happy, and where I want to be.

As cheesy as this is, I learned that home is where Bryan is. I was really looking forward to being in the city by myself and doing things I wanted to do. But immediately I realized it’s not as much fun as it used to be to be alone. I spent years in San Francisco where I basically did things I wanted to do. I remember being perfectly content to spend a weekend day walking through Chinatown and then reading a book in the park. But after just a few hours of that this week I was ready to call Bryan or visit with a friend.

I was also reminded of how special our friends are. It was so awesome just to hang out with people I know. Not have to start from the beginning of our life stories or create humor to communicate. It was so easy just to hang out. While I’ll definitely miss them and believe that they are particularly special people, it inspires me to make those friendships in Hawaii too.

Now, we’re happy in Hawaii and I think we’ll stay for a short while. But, I think as any lost often brings this up, I feel like we’re too far from “home”. I don’t know exactly how to remedy that right now but I think it’s important to be aware of.

I was also a bit surprised to learn that San Francisco isn’t all that. It is a beautiful city that was my home for so many years. But it’s sort of crazy. There are crazy people there, a ton of traffic, dirty air, exhausting streets. I might be going soft but I like the ease of living in Hawaii. I like that we relax more. But I do miss the energy. Our evenings in Hawaii usually wrap up around 8. The restaurants close, must-see TV is over, and it’s dark. And I really miss the neighborhood feel. There is nothing better than a neighborhood where you can walk to shops and restaurants. Honolulu is definitely lacking in that area.

I'm afraid to say I might be getting crunchy. I was cruising through the streets of San Francisco and didn’t really feel settled until I was in Golden Gate Park. I found myself looking at the trees and the blue sky and thought “this is so nice.” I would have expected to feel that way about the shopping, not the park!

So now, back in Hawaii... I welcome the warm air. I curse the noisy midnight winds that keep us awake. I yearn for a variety of restaurants. I look forward to going to the beach this weekend. I hope to surf and SCUBA. I miss cute fall clothes. I miss my friends but feel motivated to throw a party to meet new ones. And mostly I'm just happy to hang with Bryan.